No Teenager Talks Like That: Jennifer's Body

Directed by Karyn Kusama, Written by Diablo Cody
Starring Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried

SYNOPSIS: Two best friends become seperated over the fact that one of them becomes a man-eating demon monster, standard high school drama.

THE POSITIVE: I thought the acting was really good and it was pretty well written. I don't really like Diablo Cody's writing because she kind of invents this language that no one speaks in, but it's turned down in this film unlike in Juno. Megan Fox was great playing her "type" a beautiful airhead and Amanda Seyfried was great as her dependent best friend. I thought the storyline was pretty good as well.

THE NEGATIVE: This is where marketing can bite you in the ass. I think they marketed this movie entirely wrong. They tried to make it a vehicle for Megan Fox but she's just doesn't have that kind of star power yet. If they had gone a more standard horror flick route I think it might have had better box office success. That being said it's not your standard horror flick, it's not even scary. It's more like an exercise in the horror genre-like a film student reexamining what the horror genre means. All in all I think it tries to hard to subvert the genre without making any kind of point about it, but maybe this is because I just don't like Diablo Cody.

THE VERDICT: I think it's worth seeing. It's got good acting, a reasonably good storyline, and some pretty funny lines. But you can also wait for the DVD.

I give it 3 out of 5.

Support Kate Beckinsale!: Whiteout

Directed by Dominic Sena
Starring Kate Beckinsale, Gabriel Macht, Tom Skerrit, and Columbus Short

This post would have been a lot more effective for supporting Kate Beckinsale's acting career had I actually written it when the movie came out, but you live and you learn...

SYNOPSIS: On a remote Antarctic research station, a sexy US Marshal is stalked by a crazed killer on the ice. That's it.

THE POSITIVE: Oh Kate Beckinsale why do you force me to watch these movies you're in? Who is your agent? Why did you do this movie? I don't understand...also Gabriel Macht is in it. I'll give them points for some nice flashback scenes.

THE NEGATIVE: All the standards generic plot and characters, bad pacing, obviousness of the killer. Bad musical timing, I mean you can't just play scary music and have nothing happen. Also weird ending that didn't make any sense to me...it was anti-climatic especially after all this buildup.

THE VERDICT: I love you Kate Beckinsale but do not see this movie. Now would you go and do some indie movie now, please?

I give it 1 out of 5.

You Must Take the Ring to Mordor: 9

Directed by Shane Acker
Starring the voice talents of: Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer, and John C. Reilly

Oh an actual post, see I told you I could keep this blog thing going didn't I? Didn't I? For those who don't get the title Elijah Wood is the title voice and who is Elijah Wood, everyone say it with me: FRODO! Ok Ok on to the review....

SYNOPSIS: 9 is a computer-animated story set in a post-apocalyptic world. Written and directed by Shane Acker, who also did the short film of the same title, it features 9 mechanical puppets who become kind of the stewards of the world after the humans are gone.

THE POSITIVE: Great visuals, I mean really great! Some of the best computer animation I've seen, the technology is really coming along. There was also some really great voice acting, I mean you can't go wrong with Elijah Wood or Christoper Plummer can you? The story was pretty engaging and I liked the blend of both fantasy and science fiction that form the core of the story.

THE NEGATIVE: Maybe I was just too hyped up about it, but the story seemed a little simplified. There weren't a lot of twists or turns, but maybe this was just because it was different than I expected. I also found the story a little boring at times and if it weren't for the great visuals I don't think I would have been engaged as I was.

THE VERDICT: If you're really into animation it's definitely worth seeing, but I would wait for the DVD for this one.

I give it 2 out 5.

Housekeeping

OK guys, schedules are a lot easier to keep when you're not in school and don't have a job, so I'm changing some stuff on the site for all 2 of my readers. Hi Mom and Dad! Basically I'll review whatever movie, show, DVD I happen to see that week. Which means I might review the premiere of The Office or some strange old movie I saw in a class. I will try to keep updating weekly, so do check every week.

Thanks for reading!

Hilarity Ensues: The Office Season 5

Starring Steve Carell, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, and Rainn Wilson

SYNOPSIS: The series chronicles the events of a regional branch of a fictional paper company. It's shot in a documentary style. But really you should know this because you should be watching it already. Season 6 premieres this Thursday at 9!

REVIEW: This DVD set is definitely worth picking up. I usually don't buy whole seasons of shows, but this has commentaries, deleted scenes, a gag reel, and some other featurettes. I really love the show and it's great to re-watch everything especially without commercials!

The commentary is also very funny! They can sometimes go off topic, but it still ends up being funny or informative about the show. Some of the commentary they picked though were a little strange to me. There's one with the caterers of the show which I thought was odd and I would have preferred more commentary with the stars of the shows rather than the behind-the-scenes people though that's always interesting to me.

The deleted scenes are also really good. With most films the deleted scenes deserve to be deleted, but with these I think they just don't have enough time because at 3/4 of them are hilarious! I also liked that their are deleted scenes for each episode and not just some-it's great to see what they took out and some of the bits also say more about the characters or the story arc.

The other features that caught my eye were the webisodes and the gag reel. The webisodes are mini-arcs with supporting characters. They were both funny and we learn a lot more about the characters. I wish that you could play them continuously instead of having a credit break in-between, but since they were on the web they were originally distinct episodes and, presumably, put up each week rather than all at once. The gag reel is also really funny. I love gag reels because you get to see a little more about the production and this one is excellent. It's not just people messing up their lines or laughing, though there is a lot of that, but their also some cast pranks and funny moments.

THE VERDICT: If you're a fan I would definitely say it's worth buying. There's also a special package version with the Schrute beet farm as the theme. I think you get a stress beet, mousepad, and some other Schrute farm related things. If you're not a fan go out and buy season 1 and watch it!

Shane Acker's 9

Directed by Shane Acker
Starring the voice talents of Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer, and John C. Reilly

SYNOPSIS: Our world has ended. It's up to life-like mechanical puppets to stop the machine terror that threatens to devour the world. Also there are 9 of them.

THE POSITIVE: The visuals were stunning! One of the best digitally animated films I've seen this year. The voice casting was also excellent and worked well with the characters. It's very story-driven as well so there isn't a lot of dialogue. The story also combines a good mix of technical achievement with mythology. I really also like that even though it was animated it told an adult story. This isn't a kid's movie. There are definitely mature images and themes. I liked this because I've felt for a long time that the American film industry doesn't utilize animation to its fullest potential. In Japan, animation is often treated as a serious medium and isn't reserved for kid's fare. It was nice to see an animator step out there and give us a product that made you think and wasn't dumbed down.

THE NEGATIVE: The story didn't seem to be fleshed out that much. This may be because it was originally a short film, but the story was a bit lacking. There wasn't a traditional character or story arc, not that this is necessarily bad, but it had a more episodic feel to rather than a cohesive one. The film also just ends which annoys me. I mean it doesn't really make any sense how it ends and it was just...annoying. The back-story wasn't explained either, but that's not that crucial to understanding the film as a whole.

THE VERDICT: For all the hype it is worth seeing. I think maybe I was disappointed because I had built it up in my mind. The story wasn't what I expected either. But really you should go see it!

I give it 3 out of 5 stars*

Hahahahahahaha: Gamer

Directed by Neveldine/Taylor
Starring Gerard Butler, Amber Valletta, Kyra Sedgewick, and Micheal C. Hall

Since I haven't seen any other movies this week (I'm busy ok!) I thought I would "review" Gamer.

THE POSITIVE: The cinematography was pretty good actually. There were some very cool shots and they really tried to mimic the feel of playing an actual game. Lots of action. There was also an interesting concept to the movie, I mean what if we really could play people. The storyline held together reasonably well. Also soooo many cameos.

THE NEGATIVE: It was just ridiculous. So poorly executed of a concept. The legal ramifications notwithstanding the motives of the "villain" didn't make any sense. Having absolute control of something is a standard villain trope, but usually there's a purpose. I mean what kind of goal is to have control of people just for kicks? Even that might have been acceptable if Michael C. Hall's character was a little more sociopathic or insane. I mean he was an evil genius, but the creation of the game netted him millions of dollars and status as one of the most powerful men in America. They wanted to go with a puppetmaster angle, but he just didn't play it crazy enough for that. Also the story just fell apart at the end. And it was ridiculous, did I mention that?

THE VERDICT: Should you go see it? Hahahahahahaha...no no don't ever ever ever see it. Ever. Ever.

I give it 1 out of 5 stars.*

Even though this movie was silly I will do an Actor's Spotlight on Michael C. Hall because I love him. I don't really blame him for not being crazy enough because he was really trying his hardest to act like a complete sociopath (which he does well: DEXTER!). The script just didn't establish his motivations at all and I can see that he tried to ramp up the insanity with all of his scenes, but there's not much to do when you really only have about 10 minutes of screen time. 5 minutes of that was also a song and dance number which was totally awesome! I'm actually being serious. This number at the end of the movie is the only reason to see the movie. He sings and he dances! Is there anything Michael C. Hall can't do?!! I think the answer is possibly be more awesome.

Sidenote: Amber Valletta looks exactly like Radha Mitchell and I've been pretty much been thinking Radha Mitchell has been in all the movies I've seen with Amber Valletta. These include: Gamer, Transporter 2, Hitch, and Raising Helen (yes I saw this movie).

DVD of the Week: The Edge of Love

Directed by John Maybury
Starring Keira Knightley, Sienna Miller, Matthew Rhys, and Cillian Murphy

SYNOPSIS: This film chronicles the relationship between poet Dylan Thomas, his wife Caitlin, a childhood love Vera Phillips, and her husband William Killick. It's loosely based on Thomas' life during World War II.

THE POSITIVE: When I first saw the trailer for this I assumed it was sort of triangle between Dylan Thomas, Vera Phillips, and his wife Caitlin. It's really not. The acting was quite good, I'm a big fan of Keira Knightley, and the story was...interesting. Honestly, it was kind of weird and I'm really only including it because it happened to be what I could watch on Netflix. I mean it holds together pretty well, but a lot of it is confusing and not fleshed out very well. Plus there's some weird things going on with the cinematography.

THE NEGATIVE: I kind of accidentally already talked about it, but there was a lot of CG work done to simulate London during the blitz that just looked cheesy. Most of the outside shots were like this and very stylized. I'm okay with giving a certain look to a film, but make it across the board-don't include it some scenes and not in others. Also the story was confusing. I couldn't figure out if Vera really wanted to be with Thomas or not. No character motivations were clear at all and all the characters seemed to do things for no reason or to simply move the story along.

THE VERDICT: Don't even rent it. I saw it on Netflix, so if you already have an account you can watch it on your computer for free if you're really interested. A classic case of good acting not being able to make up for a bad story.

I give it 2 out of 5 stars.

A new feature on the site: Actor's Spotlight!

Actor's Spotlight On: Sienna Miller.
I didn't even know who she was until Jude Law had an affair and she was in all the tabloids with their two kids looking like the wronged woman. All that aside she's had some good roles in the last couple of years. She was on G.I. Joe where she managed to keep me interested in her character despite G.I. Joe just being a bad movie. Her performance in this role stands out because she played a complex woman and she played it well. As Caitlin Thomas she is both free-spirited and closed off, she is willful and loving, she's playful and deceitful. Her character really had three dimensions for me and she embodied all those traits well. All of the other actors were great, but they each seemed to have more of a purpose in the movie. Caitlin was the only one of the four who was directionless. Dylan had his poetry, Vera had her singing, and William was in the army. All three characters seemed to actively participating in their own lives, in contrast Caitlin reacts. You get the sense that this is all she can do. She has no trade and she lives off her friends. Her and her husband have frequent affairs, some for fun, some in retaliation. Her life is influenced by other people and not by her own actions. Sienna Miller did a great job of bringing this fact to life without overdoing it and making her melancholy or lifeless. Indeed she had a great deal of life and a great presence in the film.

The Prawns are Coming!: District 9

Directed by Neill Blomkamp
Starring Sharlto Copley, Vanessa Haywood, and Jason Cope

I got distracted reading the imdb boards while writing this post... *shakes fist angrily in the air*

SYNOPSIS: If you've somehow managed to avoid the buzz surrounding this film then here's a basic rundown. The film's protagonist is Wikus Van De Merwe, a South African bureaucrat. The film is set in Johannesburg sometime in the late eighties (which I actually didn't realize until after the film) and chronicles the arrival of alien beings, derogatorily dubbed "prawns." Wikus is an official whose task is to rehouse them, since the area they currently reside in has become a slum and the people of Johannesburg have rioted to remove them. It's shot in a documentary style format as the camera follows Wikus performing his duties. There are also talking head interviews from various professors and people involved.

THE POSITIVE: WOW. Is all I have to say. This film was unlike anything I've ever seen before. I already want to see it again and I just saw it yesterday. The story is gripping-I was on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next-and the acting is superb. It's a sci-fi story that is original, bold, and well done. The entire storyline and setting had obviously been well-rehearsed and the film really does look real. It also had a conflicted man as the hero (or anti-hero), who wasn't mild-mannered on the outside, but able to manipulate complex weaponry when called to as so many action heroes are. He was a bureaucrat whose life spins out of control and forces him to decide what side he's really on. The film was also a great metaphor for apartheid and also racial relations in general. It was just great on every level.

THE NEGATIVE: I want more!! That's all I have to say. I want to see what happens next. It definitely left me with a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of things that I want to see happen.

THE VERDICT: short and sweet: Go See It.

I give it 5 out of 5.

Whew...

Wow....4 in about an hour. I'm tired readers so if there are spelling or grammar errors leave them in the comments. If you see anything else I left out-let me know. I'm going to add the directors to the other films I've reviewed later-I think I mention them, but don't name them. I'll have a new DVD of the week for you tomorrow: The Edge of Love.

Who Says You Can't Rewrite History?: Inglourious Basterds

Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Melanie Laurent, Christoph Waltz, Diane Krueger, and Daniel Bruhl

Yes it's spelled correctly.

SYNOPSIS: The plot is too crazy and convoluted to really explain, but basically it's a about a guerilla unit of Jewish-American soldiers in France fighting the Nazis.

THE POSITIVE: So much killing. Ok I know some of you might not have me pegged as a blood and gore kind of girl, I guess I inherited it from my dad. I like action and violence and this film definitely has a ton of both. The thing you really have to remember when watching a Tarantino film is that the action, story, and characters have no basis in real life. They belong to a different world that exists only in Quentin's head. I really liked it, it was typically Tarantino, but it was also a lot of fun. Which one of us wouldn't want to rewrite the Holocaust, and he was just crazy enough to do it. He makes caricatures of Hitler's high command and glorifies the American's even as they do the most barbaric things but it all just makes sense some how. It was also shot beautifully. There is some great cinematography in this film and of course the music is perfect! Also I loved the film splicing techniques and Samuel L. Jackson narrating the properties of nitrate film stock...what could be better than that?

THE NEGATIVE: It's hard to write something negative, because the film is just so different, and unexpected than anything out there. Yes the violence is a little absurd, but it's also so obviously fake and over the top. The story is convoluted and unbelieveable, but that's the point of the movie! It's long, but honestly I didn't notice I was so involved. It's great! GO SEE IT!

THE VERDICT: For real, dog, though if you don't like a lot of violence this movie is not for you. If you like you're movies to be grounded in reality (which doesn't make sense, why would I want to watch my own life?) than this film is not for you. If you don't like reading subtitles-also not for you. But for whoever's left go see it! I saw it twice!! Double Points! (also I got carded because I look like I'm 12, but that only put a slight damper on the evening).

I give it 5 out of 5!*

Dude Where'd My Husband Go?: The Time Traveler's Wife

Directed by Robert Schwentke
Starring Rachel McAdams, Eric Bana and Ron Livingston

Haha, if you imagine Ashton Kutcher saying this post's title it's even funnier....yessss

SYNOPSIS: Imagine a person could time travel, naked, and then imagine that someone was your husband...what would you do? Well this film answers that question. It is of course based off a book, as all good movies are, by Audrey Niffennegger the woman with the worst last name in history. But seriously Henry DeTamble is an ordinary boy until he learns that he time travels against his will and always without clothes. The interesting part is that he revisits events in his own life and one of those events is the life of his wife Clare. The film is about their meeting and also about the affects of his traveling on their marriage.

THE POSITIVE: I have read this book and it is awesome so I was a little leary going in. I thought it would be hard to translate into film, but it works suprisingly well. Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana are perfect as Clare and Henry and they have great chemistry. I thought it was paced well and shot very nicely. The film had a great look to it and I really liked the cinematography, which is of course enough for me to enjoy any film. I'm also a sucker for romance so this was really well done. It had a certain inevitability about it that was both sad and uplifting. The acting was also superb from the whole cast (do you notice that I say that a lot? it's because I'm not an acting judge so feel free to ignore whatever I say about actors).

THE NEGATIVE: I thought his disappearing effect was a little cheesy and would have liked to see something a little better than a slow dissolve. There were also some interesting camera tricks (a steadicam shot, some interesting angles and tilt ups) that were used at random times in the film, which I didn't get. I'm all for trying new things, but do it with a purpose. Of course, my constant gripe-the book was better. There's just so much to fit in that they had to pare down a lot of it and whereas the book is really about Clare, the movie is about Henry.

This isn't a negative of the film, but I will say that by the end I was in tears and when I was wiping my eyes in shame I looked over at my friend, Meghan, who sat with dry eyes looking at the screen with a confused expression. Meghan you have a heart of stone and that's all I have to say.

THE VERDICT: If you have some extra cash lying around go see it, but otherwise wait for the rental. It's a nice film to watch on a rainy night and will leave you, hopefully, feeling hopeful rather than sad.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars.*

Bon Appetit!: Julie & Julia

Directed by Nora Ephron
Starring Amy Adams, Chris Messina, Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci

I know, I know I couldn't resist! Now for the main course...

SYNOPSIS: You know who Julia Child is right? Well if you don't she's a famous chef who had her own TV show and wrote the definitive cookbook on french cooking. You know who Julie Powell is right? Ok that may be slightly more understandable, but she started a blog where she cooked all 524 of Julia's recipes in 365 days. She later turned this blog into a book and then into a movie. Which is what I'm reviewing. The film is actually about both their lives. Julie Powell's creation and completion of the blog and Julia Child's post-war years in France and her creation of her cookbook.

THE POSITIVE: MERYL STREEP. I don't care who you are, you have to enjoy Meryl Streep's acting and the way she embodies Julia Child is amazing to watch onscreen. I'm also a big fan of Amy Adams and she was very cute, and very nervous, and very flustered as Julie Powell. I also thought the juxtaposition of their lives was good. The film doesn't actually spend that much time on Powell's life, but instead focuses more on Child's which I think is a good decision. We also see less of Powell's attempts at cooking, but more how she relates to Julia and how the blog affects her personal and professional life. Stanley Tucci and Chris Messina were great in the roles of the husbands and I thought they were able to bring a lot to some small roles.

THE NEGATIVE: Again I felt a little let down, there's no real climax to the movie. Julie finishes her blog and Julia finishes her book. There's not really a lot of dramatic tension especially since we don't get to see the real impact time-wise of Julie/Julia finishing their respective projects. For Julie it takes only a year to finish her blog, but it took Julia Child eight years to finish her cookbook! This isn't represented well on film and it just makes everything appear very easy. I don't agree with a lot of critics that Julie Powell's portion shouldn't have been in the film. While Julia Child's life is way more interesting Powell adds a nice counterpart and we get to see how Child's work touched the life of a woman and helped better herself, which was really what Child did for herself. Also she was an OSS spy, not just a file clerk! Look it up!

THE VERDICT: Honestly I would wait for the DVD on this one. It's very cute and if you're in the mood for something light and not very intellectual I would go see it, but I would not shell out $10.50 for it-even though I did. See what I do for you readers! See!

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars.*

Life Begins Again: Ponyo (Gake no ue no Ponyo)

Directed by Hayao Miyazaki
Starring the voices of Frankie Jonas, Noah Cyrus, Tina Fey, Liam Neeson, Cate Blanchett, and Matt Damon.

Oh my god an actual post I hear you say in your head. Yes dear readers, you're partial, prejudiced, and ignorant film critic is back from hiatus! I know you were waiting with bated breath. I am all settled here in New York and bonus: I have internet access! So on to the review...

SYNOPSIS: For those not in the know, Ponyo is the lasted film from Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki. His previous films include Howl's Moving Castle and the Academy award-winning Spirited Away. I am a big fan of Miyazaki's work so I was a little biased going into the film. The story is a kind of a re-telling of the little mermaid and involves the relationship between Ponyo, a fish girl, and Sosuke, the boy who rescues her.

THE POSITIVE: As always Miyazaki delivers with great visuals and a compelling (if somewhat simple) story. Honestly the animation in this movie alone makes it worth seeing, it's very fanciful and Miyazaki does a good job of creating a world apart from our own. It was also very old-school, with less of a digital look which I think worked with the simplicity of the story. I also thought the voice casting was spot-on. Frankie Jonas and Noah Cyrus (who is a GIRL by the way-celebrities stop naming your kids weird names!) really seemed to go well together and their excitement was catching. Despite the "big names" casted I thought everyone was a good fit for the role. However, I would like to point out that Miyazaki really lets the visuals drive the story and it works well and it really kept me engaged. I thought it was a simple story and he told it in a simple way-of course his version has several twists so don't expect flounder to make an appearance. He also toned down the environmentalism and anti-war critiques(though it still makes an appearance) which was so rampant in Howl. Yes it's nice to make a statement in a movie, but don't just insert it into character actions-I'm looking at you Star Wars Episode II.

THE NEGATIVE: Liam Neeson, I love you, but I can't imagine you in anything but a serious role. Maybe this was my fault, but as the father of Ponyo he seemed a little too intense. I was also expecting a little more out of the film. Most Miyazaki films are rife with travels to different worlds and trials for the heroes, but this seemed a bit tame. Maybe it was because our heroes are both quite young, but it didn't seem to have the same punch as some of his other films.

This isn't really a negative, but it's kind of a warning. There are some unanswered questions in the film, with most Miyazaki films you just have to take the world as it is. There are spirit bathhouses, talking frogs, and creepy ghosts. Why these things exist isn't clear and it's the same with Ponyo. Where she comes from and where her powers come from is pretty much a mystery-I expect that from his film so I didn't have a problem with it, but don't go expecting everything to be clear at the end.

THE VERDICT: I would go see it. If you're looking for something cute and silly to go to this is it. It's funny and the animation is amazing. I think anyone will walk out of the theater smiling and you don't...then I don't know what's wrong with you.

I give it 4 out of 5 stars.*